There is something that, thanks to my Youth Pastor when I was a Jr. High student, I learned from him early on about, which I have appreciated many times over the years.
My youth ministry now runs about the same numbers as the youth ministry I was in as a Jr. Higher. We run on average 45-50 students every week. When you run around those numbers, people don't notice a whole lot if you are up 15-20 students (around 60-70 students), but they notice a LOT when you are down 15-20 students (20-30 students). As a result, there is a natural tendency to ask the question "where is everyone tonight?"
BUT, my youth pastor instilled in me never to ask that question in that manner (at least not out loud to your students who are there). Because, especially for a Jr. Higher, the interpretation of that question can be:
* He likes the other students better than me.
* I don't matter to him
* My being here doesn't make a difference
* He doesn't think it is worth his time if the other people are not here.
I NEVER want to communicate any of those options to any of my students. And even if not intended, asking that question ("where is everyone today?") to the students who ARE present does communicate negatively. I want to celebrate those who ARE there!!! I want them to feel that they matter. I mean, we have often heard people say, "Jesus would have died on the cross for only you." If that is true, then why do we feel we have to have "X" number of people at our program to make it "worth while"? UGH
I have also "adopted" from my youth pastor a response when the other students ask the question, "Where is everyone today?" Because I don't want other students to feel they don't matter to that student, I will often respond, "Who am I? A Nobody? What, don't I count??" I will do this in a very funny and light manner, but strong enough to make the point that those of us who are here DO matter. It has been a great way to respond and I have seen it change the attitudes of students, and even change the way they ask the question when attendance is down. Now some of them will ask something like, "Is 'x' middle school having a special event tonight?" (or something of those sorts). I much prefer this as it helps to communicate that everyone matters, whether they are present or not.
Anyway - just a thought that I think is important to think about when it comes to attendance.
Great post. That is the exact way I operate in my ministry and encourage others to think and do likewise.
May there never be a student, or even a staff member, that feels like they are not important.
Posted by: Brian Eberly | April 27, 2007 at 07:44 PM
Equally important is how you greet the students. Do you hug some and handshake others? Guys and Gals pay attention to this; wouldn't you?
I find a cool sequenced "secret" handshake/hug is a great way to build community within the group and also provides a safe way to greet everyone equally. The more intricate and in depth the handshake, the more the students want to do it.
Posted by: Tony | May 05, 2007 at 04:04 PM